A pause, at least

I'm going to suspend posting to this blog. Now that I'm in a real relationship, instead of just thinking about a hypothetical one, I want to shift my focus. I think that this blog could become a big distraction. Also, now that I'm close to L, I don't feel right about exposing our private lives, even behind the veil of anonymity. Not without her knowledge and consent, anyway.

This blog has been helpful, and I particularly appreciate the feedback I've gotten from like-minded folks. You're welcome to e-mail me.

I don't expect to post again until one of two things happen: I have told L about this blog and gotten her approval, or our relationship is over. Wish me luck!

How we like it

L and I celebrated Valentine's Day yesterday. Her idea, to avoid the crowded restaurants tonight. I like how this woman thinks! She came over to my house first, and we exchanged gifts, with lots of kissing along the way. It was quite fun. We are definitely enthused about each other! Then out to a very nice, leisurely dinner, and then back to my place where we continued to get acquainted with each other's bodies and desires. I'll say we made love, although our pants stayed on. It's wonderful how much we enjoy each other. And I like our style, too. There's a good deal of assymetry in our lovemaking, and L seems quite comfortable with it.

I spent a whole lot of time licking, sucking, and nibbling L's breasts. Devoting myself to her pleasure. She was quite willing to lay back and enjoy my attention, and just run her fingers through my hair.

I made oral love to her feet. L tried to dissuade me, saying her feet were the least favorite part of her body. But I pressed gently on, and we had a good time with this. While I was working on one of her feet with my mouth she pulled off one of my socks.

L: Would you like me to reciprocate?

s: No.

L: I like that!

And her attitude spurred me on as I adored her feet.

I also did a log of grinding against her, pressing my erection against her, though all our clothes, dry-humping her, really. At one point I got close to coming and grasped her tightly and moaned, and just managed to hold myself back. I lay still a bit and let myself down from the edge. Then I told L that in was really intense, almost coming, and that I enjoyed it. She asked me to explain.

s: Well, there's some frustration. But I get to be turned on longer, and I like that. And I get to share being turned on with you, and I really like that.

I made a few weak pelvic thrusts against her leg, just reminders of the intense strokes of a few minutes earlier.

L: That's very interesting.

And she had this look like she was tucking this fact away, for later use.

I like how we are together, and I have hopes that our lovemaking will become more and more asymmetrical. I feel very fortunate.

And like that, I've got a girlfriend

I saw L again mid-week. We took a walk in the cold and saw a movie. We snuggled, oh that was nice, and we laughed the hardest at the same parts. We had another leisurely dinner, and a wide-ranging, lively conversation. I really like L, and she's fun. Then we went back to her house and she invited me in. She showed me around a bit and made us tea. And then we snuggled again and kissed and more, and it was wonderful. Wonderful to feel connected with L, to feel so at ease with her.

There's nothing overtly femdom about our relationship. But there are a few hopeful signs. L is very direct, she's commented on this, and I've noticed it. I was quite the gentleman. As I started to unbutton her sweater I told her to let me know if I did anything she wasn't comfortable with. "Your comfort is very important to me. And your pleasure." I wanted to make it clear that while I was taking the lead, she retained control.

And our lovemaking was somewhat one-sided. L kissed me passionately, but only on my mouth. I kissed and licked her many places besides her mouth. I licked and sucked her nipples for a long time, and she lay back and enjoyed it. While I enjoyed her enjoyment. :) And I made clear my desire to go down on her. I nuzzled her pussy through her pants, which stayed on, and told her I wanted to lick her there, too. "Another day," she said.

We hugged a lot and parted slowly. I smiled all the next day.

L is out of town for the weekend. I'll see her next on Tuesday, when we're going to celebrate Valentines Day a day early. Her idea, to avoid the rush of people at restaurants.

I'm trying to avoid looking ahead too much, to just enjoy what we have without fretting about how this might develop. I have noticed that I'm ogling other women less and less, as L and I get closer. Focus is good.

The power of declaring

L and I had our third date yesterday, to the science museum and then out to dinner. I had decided beforehand that I wanted to date only L. She interests me far more than anyone else I've met, and I want to focus, and see where that leads. So at dinner I told her this--the part about deciding I would date only her. And as soon as I did, I felt a slight twinge of sexual arousal. Some part of me was saying "Yes, this is the way to be sexual. Committment is erotic." Very interesting.

We had a leisurely dinner, then she drove me back to my car and we talked some more. And I wanted to kiss her, or at least find out if she wanted to, too. So I leaned in and said, "I want to kiss you", and she said "I'm agreeable", and so we did, several times. And it was good.

We also declared that we are Valentines.

Tonight we talked on the phone, over an hour, a wide-ranging conversation. I told her about getting aroused at dinner--another declaration. I feel like I'm offering myself up to her--my commiitment, my arousal--and it feels good.