Feeling down

I talked with E by phone today. (My last entry about E is here, and it has links to earlier ones.) She sounded upbeat, and thanked me for help with her assignment. I asked her out. She thanked me, but then said, in a friendly tone, "You've got to stop asking me out." She explained that she just likes to hang out at home on the weekend. She's so busy, working full-time and going to school, too, I can understand. I think she just doesn't want to add dating into her busy life. Goodness knows, I've felt that way sometimes while going to school.

I don't like it, though. The thought of all this flirting not leading to anything is depressing me.

Oh, it was a pleasant call. We had our usual animated conversation, with a little teasing. E assured me she's open to lunch, and I said we'd do that in the new year. I'm going to give it a rest for a while. Reluctantly.

Then tonight I had a first date with a woman I met at an online dating service. I like her, but I'm not feeling any sexual attraction. I'm going to give us another chance--I don't want to rush to the conclusion that there will never be sparks--but I'm not hopeful.

And there's my teacher, now my ex-teacher, fortunately. She wants to stay in touch, that's clear. I expect to ask her out, but not until after my open house, and that's tentatively set for New Years Day. Nearly three weeks away.

Not much cooking, and I'm feeling down. It will pass, I'm sure, but it's where I am right now.