Touched by an Alpha Female

I had an encounter with an Alpha Female a few months ago. I offered myself to her service, and she took me up on it. Once.

Last summer a friend told me that a friend of hers was going to start working where I do. I called S (the new employee) on her first day and left her a message, offering to buy her a cup of coffee and do what I could to help her get oriented. S didn't call back, but the next week she did stop by my cube to introduce herself. I was smitten. S is tall, 40ish, moves and speaks with a lot of confidence, and has a very direct manner. She told me a little about her work--she worked in another area, obviously at a higher level, as she dealt directly with senior management. She was brought in to make some changes in an important area. I repeated my offer of coffee and help getting oriented, but I could tell that S wasn't going to need any advice from me. This woman could navigate for herself, and she had hit the ground running. I would really liked to have dated S (and submitted to her), but she seemed out of my league, and not interested, anyway. I let it go, wistfully.

Then last fall my friend called me again, to tell me that S wanted to talk with me about something going on at the company. I e-mailed S, suggesting coffee the next day. She responded by putting a "meeting" for coffee on my calendar, a week away. That woman was busy, doing her transformational work, but she wanted to talk to me. I was impressed, and curious.

When we got together S talked about the reorganization project the company had just launched. It had been announced the week before, they were looking to consolidate things on a large scale. This could conceivably lead to the elimination of my job. I wasn't too worried, although I realize it could possibly happen. But S, who is privy to information at a higher level, wanted to help me out, give me some advice about how to survive these changes. I was touched. I also strained to understand, as she advised me to consider what a division a thousand miles away did, in relation to my local group. When she used the word "triangulate" I realized I was lost. But I listened attentively and thanked S for her concern and her advice. It was clear to me that S was an Alpha Female--decisive, successful, and sure of herself. She was leagues ahead of me in her career, and in how she viewed the world.

When S was done sharing her perspective, I told her I would like to do something for her, in return for the help she had just given me. I asked if there was any way I could help her, perhaps with something around her house. S hesitated just a moment, then said yes, there was something. She hadn't gotten around to raking the leaves out from under her shrubs, and it was weighing on her. She was going on vacation soon, and didn't know how she was going to get it done. I quickly agreed to do it. S reached out, touched my arm and thanked me. We settled on the details, and then our little talk was over.

I went over to S's house while she was on vacation, and spend about an hour-and-a-half raking her leaves. I made a serious effort to do a good job for S. And I checked out her house, just from the outside. It was much nicer than mine. I fantasized about becoming a servant for S, and doing chores inside. I smiled a lot. I knew it was unlikely that this was going anywhere, but I was serving an Alpha Female, and I was happy. I raked so intently I blistered my hands, and then I raked some more.

A few days later I ran into S in the hallway. She was back from vacation. She thanked me for my work, seemed genuinely pleased. And warm and direct--that woman has charm. I told S how glad I was to be able to help her.

I didn't want that to be the end. I thought about asking S out to dinner, but decided to pursue the choreboy role instead. The next week I stopped by her office, repeated that I enjoyed raking her leaves, and asked if there was anything else I could do for her. For once, S seemed uncomfortable. "I'll let you know if anything comes up", looking away. I realized she didn't want to puruse this, so I excused myself. And I've left her alone since.

It's not like I lost out on something. S didn't want to have coffee with me last summer, so it seemed clear I wasn't going to be able to date her. I had hopes for a while that raking her leaves might lead to something else, but it didn't. That's OK. I feel fortunate to have been touched by this Alpha Female, even briefly. And I'm glad I had a chance to serve her one afternoon, to take care of something that had been weighing on her.

My best wishes to you, S, in all aspects of your life.